An ode to the Whole Foods burrito bar

Whole Foods is my holy grail.

I mean, look at it.

Whole Foods and I have a long history together. I've been religiously spending far too much time there for almost 8 years now--sometimes I go just to buy chapstick (I do not need more chapstick) because I love it THAT MUCH.

Not only have I fallen under the magical spell that Whole Foods casts on its… victims, but I think that it has the best prepared food selection out of all of the grocery stores I’ve ever been to. And don’t even get me started on their burrito bar.

Excuse my bandaid

I one hundred percent blame my Whole Foods burrito obsession on one of my best friends, Riley, who took me there to get my very first burrito in eighth grade on our way home from the orthodontist appointment I went to with her. I’ve literally never looked back. This is by far one of the most dramatic things I’ve ever said, but that burrito changed my life. Riley is an OG Whole Foods aficionado herself, and agrees that there’s something otherworldly about the store and its burritos, stating, “They are made with care and love!”. One of my favorite things about going to Whole Foods is the employees who are never too shy to strike up a conversation. One woman who I used to see a lot at the Petaluma store saw from my brace that I injured my knee and then asked me how it was doing every single time I was there after that. Even after my 7-month Whole Foods hiatus when I was out of the country, she told me she missed seeing me and asked if my knee had gotten any better. How nice is that?

2016 was probably my worst/best year of Whole Foods burrito consumption, depending on how you look at it I suppose. I went there three to four times each week after school and could finish an entire burrito on the 7-minute drive home. I ended up eating 169 burritos in 2016 (yes, I kept track). Each burrito weighs about one-third of a pound, so that’s like… 57 pounds of burritos in one year--kinda gross, I know.

Just like me, most of my friends who have tried the gastronomical masterpiece that is the Whole Foods burrito agree that it's one of their favorite on-the-go meals in Petaluma. You are able to customize everything about your order at the burrito bar, from the tortilla (yes, even gluten free) and the goodies inside, to whether or not you'd like it steamed. My friend Yvette, who back in 2016 I kidnapped and forced to try the burrito bar, thinks that steaming is crucial to melty cheese and the perfect consistency: "If you don't get it steamed, what are you doing? Is that too aggressive?" Yeah, it kind of is, but I don't disagree. Just like me, she’s pretty specific about what she likes in her burritos. “Their corn salsa is a must have." Kiana, another burrito groupie who goes to school in Southern California, weighed in: “My Whole Foods doesn’t have a burrito bar, so every time I come back into town from college, I get one. I love how fresh everything is!”

Here's a photo of us proudly posing with our burritos before heading to a concert a few years ago.

All in all, the Whole Foods burrito, my rock, scores a 10 out of 10. Although I haven't been too fond of their subtle menu changes (Whole Foods, if you're reading this, I'm begging you to bring back the tomato tortilla!), the price increase a few years back, and the fact that they are now owned by Amazon, the quality is excellent, the ingredients are fresh, and you're able to watch your beautiful burrito come to life before your eyes. If you're not lucky enough to get a burrito connoisseur to skillfully wrap up your burrito (which, quite frankly, happens about every fifth time), the deliciousness doesn't change as it falls apart in your hands and turns into a fun challenge of not spilling your entire $8 lunch all over your lap.

I love you, Whole Foods, and I hope you love me back.